Sometimes Cynicism is the last refuge of an idealist.

I'm so happy! Life's good. Our band is picking up, we performed for the first time yesterday and it was great! Then, I got a nice job that pays well, and all my friends are coming back from their vacations so now I have friends again. I found  out someone likes me! And.. it's just way cool ^_^ Well, I'm going to church now, so have a wonderful day ya'll! ^_^

I don't like life right now. So many things are either going wrong, or just not working like I wish they would. I think one of the reasons is my managers at work, they schedule me at the worst times, even when I request time off. Then my grades have been slowly declining but this term will be better for sure. I'm so sore! I worked an eleven hour shift yesterday, but I got a two hour break. On my break, I came home and had nothing to do, so I worked out, mostly doing squats. For those who don't know, squats are where you have your feet anywhere from together, to shoulder-length apart, and, keeping your back straight, squat down then stand back up. Those aren't that hard honestly, so I grabbed some weights. Since I don't actually have weights at home, I just grabbed a chair, flipped it over, and stacked encyclopedia's on it. That was a bit of weight, and now my legs hate me, and stairs are the DEVIL! Haha, but my legs feel all cool and muscley now! ^_^  I don't know, I've just been working out and exercising again lately, I figure I should at least like my body if no one else is going to! I might be the lead singer in my Brother's band! I'm not sure though, I don't think my voice is that great, and when he asked me who I knew that could sing, I said I could and he's all... "well... do you know any one else?" Aww... poor me, haha! That was kind of sad. Ah well, maybe since I don't have as much homework this term life won't be as hard, I sure hope so! Anyways, I don't know why I wrote in here again, I guess I was just bored, needed somewhere to talk at, and figured no one's ever gonna read this anyway! So! Have an emaculate day, and choose the right!
-K

Some say now suffer all the children
And walk away a saviour
Or a mad man and polluted from gutter institutions
Don’t you breathe for me.
Undeserving of your sympathy
'Cos there ain’t no way that I’m sorry for what I did

And through it all.
How could you cry
For me
'Cos I don’t feel bad about it
So shut your eyes
Kiss me goodbye
And sleep
Just sleep
The hardest part is letting go of your dreams

A drink for the horror that I’m in
For the good guys and the bad guys
For the monsters that I’ve been
Three cheers for tyranny
Unapologetic apathy
'Cos there ain’t no way that I’m coming back again

And through it all.
How could you cry
For me
'Cos I don’t feel bad about it
So shut your eyes
Kiss me goodbye
And sleep
Just sleep
The hardest part is the awful things that I’ve seen

Just sleep...
Just sleep...

(screaming) wake up!...

I've written three songs in the last two nights, all about different things. I've just been writing a lot lately, stories, songs, in my journal.. it's driving me crazy that there's no one to talk to! Too busy with school, or just don't care, either one works. So I've got my guitar and piano to be friends with! And my notebooks, ...always my paper. I'm probably not making any sense right now! One of the songs I wrote is about being in love,  another is about being forgotten, the last is about people hiding behind their 'securitites'. The last one's a funny song, but it has a good point, someone'll just have to hear it. Wow, these songs I'm listening to take me back... it's been a while since I heard these... they remind me of someone I used to know... well I think it's my bedtime. Goodnight.